50 Things Women Can Do...

I'm not trying to offend anyone.

A couple of the guys I spoke to and have heard from regarding that last post seem to think it's coming from a "femi-nazi" perspective and is mean to men. I disagree, and here's why:

If you have ever been a woman, you have most likely been subjected to all kinds of tirades in various mediums telling you how to avoid being the victim of sexual assault. More than once I have been sent patronizing emails (don't wear tight clothes, don't go out alone, don't drink, don't do drugs, don't have long hair, don't flirt), which basically put the onus for preventing my own rape on me, not on the man who might rape me. This treats rape as something that is a given, something that will not be wiped out and must, at best, be prevented from happening to you personally.

Here's the problem: 98 percent of rapes are carried out by men. Whether they be against women, other men, or children, it is by and large men who are rapists. Women, children, and the men being raped can't do anything to guarantee their safety. Not being sexually provacative, not being alone, and not having long hair are not going to guarantee you're not going to be raped. The only people who can STOP rape completely are the people who are doing the raping: by and large, men, and I think it's about time society started looking at it that way. Men (by and large) rape, so men (by and large) should be responsible for stopping rape.

To any guy that gets offended by this idea, I say, "Grow the fuck up!"

I think it's high time that we as a society called a spade a spade. Of course not all men are rapists, but it's also true that the vast majority of rapists are men. Men who are not rapists (and we know that's most of you and love you) have got to stop with this offended bullshit and start getting active.

Here's a great bit I found from a quiz about rape from the website of the Women's Justice Centre:

4. True or False. Constantly bringing up the male versus female aspect of rape is not a good way to talk about rape because it just angers all the men who don't rape.

False. The male versus female aspect of rape needs to be at the center of discussions about rape because it is sexism and the inequalities between males and females that drive rape. In the same way, it would have been impossible to stop the lynching of black people without talking about racism and white people's domination of blacks. Men and boys who don't rape have a very heroic role to play in eradicating rape in our society. They need to join with women in the fight for women's equality. But first they must get over their anger about discussing the facts of male domination of females. There are many men and boys who have done that, and they are making an important difference.

(you can read the whole quiz at http://www.justicewomen.com/cj_rapequiz_en.html)

There you have it. Just as you vegan boys don't get offended by people telling you about how shitty meat eaters are because you've already done your bit and made your choice, those of you who aren't raping or thinking about raping girls, men, boys, or women can be content with the fact that you've done your bit by not adding to the bullshit that surrounds the issue, (rather than calling me a femi-nazi).

I guess the point I am (long-windedly) trying to make is that it sure doesn't help the situation for cool guys who are definitely not rapists to be getting mad at cool girls who speak up about the situation about it. It's called solidarity.

Get it?