I just found this on the venerable Greg MacPherson's website, and I think it is bang on.
"I just got something forwarded from a friend that is another version of a very common email forward, and I used to be one of the people who forwarded them too, but they annoy me a lot now. They are the "What women should do to prevent themselves from being raped" forwards.
I've seen probably dozens of these emails now. What women should wear, how women should act, when women should and should not go outside and if they do how they should behave, how they should look, what they should do when they are approached by a strange man, how they should fight or not fight if they are attacked.
Here is what bothers me about these emails, and it is a pretty simple thing - Women are not the people who can stop men from committing rape. Men are.
So, I understand the good intentions behind whoever is writing these things, I understand why they are forwarded around the internet with the advice to Forward This To Every Woman You Know message always there. I have forwarded these things myself, in the past. I won't anymore.
If I've seen dozens of them, for years, I have to think that most people with email accounts, particularly women, have also seen them multiple times. And I'm sick of them. So I had an idea, and I'm really tired right now but because I just read another one of these messages, I'm going to write this.
You can forward this to everyone you know and put my full name on it, Jennifer Robinson. I live in Virginia. My email address is jendaizb@aol.com, and I don't give a damn what people think of me for writing this. Most of these forwards don't have the names of the original author for some reason."
PLEASE FORWARD THIS TO EVERY MAN YOU KNOW:
Fifty Ways To Prevent Yourself from Being a Rapist:
1. Do not think you have the right to rape a woman.
2. Do not rape a woman. Do not rape a man.
3. Learn what rape is.
4. Rape is forcing someone to have sex with you when they do not want to.
5. Most rapes are committed by men who know the women they are raping. If the woman you are forcing to have sex with you happens to be your girlfriend, your neighbour, your cousin, your sister, or your wife, it is still RAPE.
6. When someone says no to you, that means you have no right to force yourself on them.
7. When someone pushes you away, or otherwise intimidates, verbally or with physical movement that they do not want to have sex with you, and you force yourself on them, that is rape.
8. If you see a woman in a parking lot, don't rape her.
9. If you see a woman walking alone at night, don't rape her.
10. If you see a woman in a short skirt, don't rape her.
11, If you see a woman with long hair, don't rape her.
12. If you see a woman walking down a dark street at 4 AM, naked, don't rape her.
13. If you see a woman who is not carrying pepper spray for self protection, does not know karate, does not have a gun, and is not even holding an umbrella to ward you off, still don't rape her.
14. If you see a woman who has a sign on her head that says "I Want Sex", you don't have the right to force sex upon her.
15. If you're at a party, and a girl is drunk, and she wants you to kiss her and touch her but then she wants you stop, STOP.
16. If you're on a date with someone and they want to go so far, but then stop, you STOP. If you don't stop, it is called rape.
17. Rape is a crime, whether you go to prison for it or not, whether it is reported or not, whether you're convicted, or whether anyone believes the woman you rape, or whether you get a goddamn medal of honor for all the rapes you got away with committing, IT'S A CRIME and it's a crime against humanity, which has more to do with your conscience and morals and the rights of women to live as human beings on this planet without having to be in fear their bodies will be violated, than it laws and prison sentences. If you are a rapist, you have violated a person's right to simply live. News Flash - you do not have the right to do that. Neither does any other man or woman you know.
18. Rape is about power. It is not about sex. Do something else with your misogyny than rape a woman. Try, say, reading a book. Or committing suicide to rid you from the planet so we will have one less rapist walking around.
20. Men are the people who can stop rape. Not women. For proof of this fact, look at statistics on rape for a second. It happens every minute of every day, and it is usually not ever reported so statistics on it are always underestimates. Women have been trying to prevent themselves from being raped for a few centuries. IT HASN'T WORKED YET.
21. Rapists destroy lives in a way that murderers do not. If you rape a person, you are as inhumane as a murderer.
22. Before you decide to rape someone, go to visit an emergency room one night, and ask the nurse on duty at the triage, how many raped women have been there that evening. Then ask about the rape kits they did on the women, the DNA evidence they collected. Then spend a few years of your life talking with women who were raped and see how it has affected them every single day of their lives. You might reconsider rape after that, if you're actually human. If you're not human, please kill yourself before you rape someone.
23. Note that you are living in a patriarchal society which is the only reason why committing rape will occur to you as something you have a right to do in the first place. Note that, despite this fact, you STILL DO NOT HAVE THE RIGHT TO RAPE ANYONE EVER.
24. Know that a few million human beings on this planet right now want you dead, if you're a rapist, because we're sick and tired of you walking around, and our self protection mechanisms haven't worked, and you're not about to be a real popular guy if anyone finds out you are a rapist, unless, you are hanging around other rapists.
25. Know that whether anyone ever finds out you committed a rape or not, you are still a repulsive, weak, pathetic, disgusting, grotesque, inhumane, repulsive, worthless, twisted individual if you rape someone, and this fact will remain true, and you will remain guilty forever, whether she tells anybody or not. And you can be the one to live with that; if you have a conscience.
26. If you don't have a conscience, go murder yourself instead of raping a woman.
27. Read Ms. Magazine instead of Playboy
28. Stay away from pornography. Most rapists love it. That should be a danger sign.
29. Cut your hands off. You won't be able to use them. That will help matters.
30. Cut your penis off. Or ask me to do it for you; I'll be happy to, if you're considering committing a rape.
31. Stay away from women.
32. Stay away from little girls.
33. Stay away from boys.
34. Stay away from the human race.
35. You are not the superior sex, never will be, never were, never are. Women are equal to you, and sometimes women will be smarter than you. This is called life. Deal with it.
36. Sometimes women will not like you. That is our right. See above.
37. Sometimes women will rebuff your advances. In other words, we don't always want to have sex with you. Note, no one has any duty to have sex with anyone, ever. You are no exception.
38. Sometimes women will think you are stupid, will make fun of you, will not treat you well, will fire you from a job, will laugh at you, will refuse to go out with you. Just like men can do these things, so can women. This does not mean you have a right to commit rape.
39. If a woman has sex with you one day and doesn't want to have sex with you the next, that is her right. You do not have the right to rape her.
40. If a woman has sex with you and one hour later does not want to have sex with you again, that is her right. You do not have the right to rape her.
41. If a woman has sex all the time, with lots of men, and you think she is a slut for it, you still don't have the right to rape her. Women have the right to have sex with who they choose, when they choose, wherever they choose if it is consensual. Just like men.
42. No woman has ever, will ever or does ever ASK to be raped. No woman LIKES being raped. No woman INVITES you to rape her. No woman has EVER ASKED FOR IT. Try to remember that.
43. You don't have a right to rape your wife, your daughter, your granddaughter, your best friend, your girlfriend, a girl you met at the grocery store, your boss, your coworker, your student, your professor, your niece, your next door neighbour, a woman you do not know, or ANYONE ELSE. Ever. Period. End of Story.
44. Do not forward around emails to people telling them what women should do to prevent themselves from being raped. Women have never, and will never be able to stop the phenomena of rape, even as women do a good job of trying to, because we are not the ones with penises. Very simple. You are the only person who can prevent you from raping me or any other woman. You. Not me. You. Not any woman. You. You must stop you from being a rapist. It is YOUR job. Take responsibility for it for a change. I'm tired of giving out the 1-800-656-HOPE number to women who have been raped. I WANT TO GIVE OUT A HOTLINE TO YOU. 1-800-STOP IT NOW - But that hotline does not exist.
45. Go build a crisis centre to stop yourself and every other man you know from becoming a rapist. Get funding for it, which will require a lot of work on a daily basis. Hire counsellors. Hold group therapy and individual therapy sessions. Try, again, to get funding for it because it will be difficult to do so. Women have been doing this for decades. They're called rape crisis centres and we have too many of them. They should not have to exist at all.
46. When you converse with your male friends, be sure to warn them to NOT RAPE ANYONE if they are going out late at night, or if they are going out with a new girl, or if they are doing anything at all where rape might be an issue of concern. Women do this all the time, warning their friends to be careful, warning their daughters, their sisters, their mothers to be careful, to watch out, to lock their doors, to keep their doors locked, to carry pepper spray. We have all sorts of advice we give each other based on our very rational fear of rape. Why don't you try giving every man you now advice on how to prevent rape?
47. If you know someone who is a rapist, do something about it. Do not ignore, tolerate, pretend you don't know or don't care, or congratulate him. DO SOMETHING about it, such as, telling him he is the scum of the earth, reporting him to the police, beating him up, or put up a billboard with his picture, his name and the word Rapist in bright red letters on his front lawn.
48. If you're a rapist, go to therapy for a few years, perhaps the rest of your life, spend some time in a psychiatric hospital, perhaps dozens of times, perhaps years, and try to figure out how to live with yourself and what you did, which is exactly what many women who are raped by people such as you must do.
49. Donate money to RAINN, since you haven't succeeded in stopping rape from happening yet, so we still need these sexual assault centres, and maybe you should try being the person who donates money to them, rather than the people who were raped. www.rainn.org 1-800-656-HOPE. Or donate money to your local sexual assault crisis centre. Or donate money to one of the women you know who has been raped so she can go to therapy, because statistically, there is little chance that you do not know several rape "survivors".
50. SEND THIS TO EVERY MAN YOU KNOW. And when you get the next email telling every woman on the planet what to do to prevent herself from being raped, and it says, "forward it to every woman you know", don't do it.
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If you've been assaulted, please TELL SOMEONE!
Sexual Assault Centre of Edmonton:
www.sace.ab.ca
CRISIS LINE (780) 423-4121
